PETARD

(06/03/99)

They pass me as if I were a ghost, seeing nothing, saying nothing. Even if I extend my hand, it is ignored. I do not care, as I do not quite understand why I am there…still enjoying the last effects of cement. I believe I cause some kind of fear as people look at me with scared eyes. But I am no evil, cause not harm…almost never. It is true that I have not showered in a week, that my clothes are dirtier than the floor in which people step on. Perhaps I smell bad, but I am used to it. And yes, I am thin, very thin. But I have no hunger. I find more pleasure in smelling glue, or cement than eating. Indeed, almost all the money I get from begging I spend it in a big can of cement/glue, and if I have any money left, I buy a candy and a coke. I stopped going to school long time ago. I was kicked out the day I pulled down my trousers in class, and then punch the teacher in the face. But I did not mean to harm anybody; I just wanted to have a good time. Then, I looked for a job, and I got one, even if you do not believe so. I was in charge of looking after a factory at night. I had my brown uniform, and a stick to combat the intruders, but anything ever happened, until the day: I was walking inside the factory and I lighted on a marijuana cigarette. The problem was not the cigarette but the match I used as I started a fire of such proportions that it was on the news. And as it happens in the path of the successful politicians in my country: after appearing on TV I went to prison. Indeed, that was a good time. All the people there were teachers in some way or another.

16/10/2000

16/Oct/2000

Mujer extraña
ambivalente
de timidez de niña
que de repente
o ríe, o llora
sin motivo aparente
y al mismo tiempo
mantiene
bajo sus fijos ojos
bajo sus firmes manos
todo el equilibrio
de la vida

Rara eres mujer

Y llevado por
mi irremediable curiosidad
quiero explorar mas
quiero ser (de ti)
quiero saber
que hay detrás de
tu bata, de tu cabellera negra
corriendo el terrible peligro
de quedar totalmente
empapado de ti.

The Disorganized Exploration of the 20s

The Disorganized Exploration of the 20s

What have we sacrificed,
if it is not our energy, our eyes, our fists, our youth.
We have invested in mind and soul.
We expect to profit in character and facts.
No frontiers, no limits.
Dreams as thoughts,
thoughts as actions.
Actions as reality.
That is what we fight for,
that is what we struggle to achieve.
No matter if we walk in the streets of London
or love in the cafes of Paris,
or dream in the spires of Prage,
or fight in the jungles of Chiapas.
We expect to achieve more,
to become better,
to contagiate friendship,
to explore the universe around us.
Do not critizes how we live,
how we dress,
what we smoke;
see were we are going,
What have we sacrificed ,
if it is not our energy,
our eyes,
our firsts, our strengths.
Every day we win the daily struggle,
to advance against the terrible waves
of ignorance and prejucides,
and become a little better every single day.

13/12/96

(13/12/96)

Que si tengo miedo a la muerte?
No, ya no hay temor alguno
Pues mas que un cuerpo inerte
Soy yo, soy tu, somos uno.

Que si tengo miedo a fracasar?
No, ya he probado la experiencia:
Insensible ya, para amar
Perdida total de conciencia.

Que si tengo algún temor?
Si, tengo miedo a perderte.
Miedo a dejar tu amor
Miedo a no volver a verte.

Que porque he de irme temprano?
Porque es parte del castigo,
Que recibe el insolente humano,
Que otorga el blasfemo enemigo.

Pero-“Porque”- pregunto a la vida,
Arrancar de mí tu amor creciente
Dejarlo en la marea enfurecida
Del mundo que corrompe y miente.

Y en la iglesia, al Dios, reclinado
Con mis oraciones imploro
Que no aparte de mi lado
A la mujer que más adoro.

Un pie puesto en el barco
Otro dejando el puerto.
Hoy, de ti, yo me aparto
Hoy, parte de mi, ha muerto.

Me voy ya, a otros lares
Para encontrar mi vocación
Te llevo a ti y mis pesares
En un bolsillo de mi corazón.

De la isla ya me alejo
Atrás quedo ella y su pureza
El mar es ahora un espejo
Que refleja mi tristeza.

Pero hoy, estos versos yo grito
A aquella que ame como ninguno
Y grito, y canto, y repito
Soy yo, soy tu, somos uno!

Batallas entre el Amor y el Olvido

Batallas entre el Amor y el Olvido (16/5/98)


Mi amadísima mujer
Nunca me explicaré como
Nuestros caminos se juntaron
Entre las terribles marejadas del mundo

Yo voy entre victorias y fracasos
Tú, entre amores y odios
Yo viajo en un papalote de sueños
Tú, en una paloma mojada de pesimismo
Yo llevo la máscara de la seriedad,
nazco con el año.
Tú, La máscara de la alegría,
naces con la primavera.

De repente,
Nos tomamos de la mano
Entonces
Todo se junta

Se juntan
Mis dedos y tu cabello
La realidad y los sueños
Los latidos y las caricias
Los límites y lo inalcanzable
Los labios y los perfiles
La debilidad y la entereza
Los deseos

Y en una mirada,
Vamos de la niñez a la vejez
Y con un beso
Nos perdonamos los pecados
Y nos hacemos cómplices

Ahora,
Puedo distinguir tus pasos
Entre todos los demás
Y tu risa
Y tu aroma
Entre todos los demás.
Ahora, eres diferente

Mi amadísima mujer
Nunca me explicaré como
Todo fue tan rápido
Tan intenso…tan efímero.

Yo voy como quetzal sagrado
En espera de ser atrapado
Tú, vas como princesa de cuento
En espera de ser rescatada
Yo viajo en la impunidad del sentimiento
Tú, arrastras cadenas de pasiones rotas
Yo llevo la sonrisa de la esperanza
Tú, la mueca del desamor

De repente,
Nos miramos a los ojos
Entonces
Todo se acaba

Se acaba
Mi búsqueda y tus sufrimientos
Mi libertad y tu espera
Mi ateísmo y tu penitencia
Mi ceguera y tu evidencia
Mi arrogancia y tu sencillez
Mis desaforados ensueños y tu violento realismo
Las furias

Y en una caricia
Vamos de un continente a otro
Y con un beso
Nos perdonamos lo humano
Y nos hacemos uno

Ahora
Puedo distinguir tu alma
Entre todas las demás
Y tu sinceridad
Y tu cariño
Entre todas las demás,
Ahora, eres diferente.

Mi amadísima mujer
Nunca, nunca olvides
Que la vida
es mas larga que la distancia
Y que el amor
es mas largo que la vida.

06/04/96

06/04/96

Tonight, I light a candle for you
To warm up your reminiscence
Hair, eyes, smile, shape
Soul, mind, heart, character.

I see you between the shadows
Not that distant
Sometimes confused, sometimes determined,
Always mine.

The night has fallen like a black sheet
Leaving me blind, covered, and alone.
For you, tonight I light up a candle,
To pretend your being.

How important is my fragile, little candle
To heat up my soul
To clarify my steps
To see my limits
To find the path
To look for you in the darkness.

How strong is my fragile, petite girl
To embrace, to sustain, to provide for.
Tonight, I light up a candle for you,
To forge you on me.

Rain will come
Drops will fall
My light will not be extinguished
I will shelter it.

Wind will blow
Breeze will quench
My light will not be eradicated
I will lodge it.

What is black
Tomorrow will be clear
Blue, up in the sky
Red, deeper inside.

Dawn has arrived, it uncovers me, slowly
And now, my candle fades, it dies, softly.
But now, it is not important, my always loved.
It has passed its light to the star that rises.

Like a balloon, it rises up and high
And caresses my skin with its hotness,
And brings colours to my life
And gives happiness to others.

Then, among the forms, you standing.
Lighted on, hold my hand, the day is long
The journey exhausting, and above us
Our only partner, the bright star.

And when dusk comes, and you are about to sleep,
I will conceal you in my arms. I see you...She sleeps
Noiseless, I will light up my candle for you, your profile unmistakable
Sleepless at night, in the darkness, I will not loose you again.

ASKING MYSELF

Asking Myself (12/02/96)

Wondering, dreaming about my future
And comparing my today with others
And comparing others with their yesterday
And I’m asking myself about life.

Are you truly waiting for me, Destiny?
Is my book already finished?
Have I already written my verse? (Not, I am sure!)
Should I write it for the sake of others?

And I am asking myself about life.
Still looking for you in the fog.
Still waiting for your light to enlighten my way.
Still waiting for your heart to heat up my love.

Who will be my God?
Will be that which everything buys?
Will be that which in pleasure hides?
Will be you, eternal smile?

Death, are you looking for me?
I want you to meet Immortality.
Should we, three, sign up the pact?
To die for an immortal life?
To live for a forgotten death?

Would you clean my sweat in tiredness?
Would you dry my tears in sadness?
Would you quench my desire below the moonlight?
Would you cleanse my blood in my death?

And I’m asking myself about life?
Am I the chosen one?
Why have you brought me that far?
Is this dream the true lie?
Is this nightmare the true answer?

Could I, then, share the secret?
Is anybody aware of it?
ANYBODY!! do you know what I am up to?
Would you tell me who I am?

Could I share it with you? my always dreamt.
Should you read these verses, by chance?
Would you understand me and my path?
Should we stick each other as long as we live?

I am leaving…
My beloved one, don’t cry
Be proud of me, I love you.
My good friend, don’t revenge.
Look after my place, I praise you.

And I’m asking myself about life.
Dawn is coming. My part in the play is arriving.
Questions are turned into actions, I should act
And be silent.

OF RAIN AND SUN

OF RAIN AND SUN

(15/06/96)
Read me
As someone reads the sunset
Read me through my eyes
Hiding beneath my eyebrows
As the sun hides
Beneath the clouds.

Learn me
As someone learns the firmament
Learn me through my vast love
As the universe reveals to us
Mystery, prodigy, immensity.

Understand me
As someone understands the rainbow
Understands me without reason, just ardor
Revealing new colors and secrets
Shaping new feelings and surroundings.

Listen to me
As someone listens to the rain
Listen to me without listening
Let yourself get soaked in me
As the rain soaks the sand.

Welcome me
As someone welcomes the dawn
Welcome me with your heart
Just as the mountain waits for the sun
To share a new day, to start a new life.